I am genuinely beyond stoked that I managed to get my hands on a Mary Katrantzou Balloon Dress from her Topshop collection.
Just look at this work of art: it’s something other-wordly, of true beauty and colour, something seen in magazines or V&A exhibitions, not an item a mere mortal like myself in the suburbzzz could ever possibly hope to own.
So: how did I get my sticky paws on such a special dress? There were two contributing factors:
1) My credit card (obviously).
Impractical Items Of Great Beauty Unjustifiable In Their Expense, henceforth known as IIOGBUITE (catchy, don’t you think?!) are the stuff of which credit cards are made. They are certainly not bought on a money per use basis, so one will never see a healthy return on them.
However, like all IIOGBUITEs, this dress will bring its owner unexplicable joy and pleasure just from the sight of it, through the monthly repayments and up to the point of baliff visits and all-too predictable property repossessions.
2) The fact that the day the Mary Katrantzou collection went on sale at Topshop my daughters woke me up at 5.30am.
This should not have made a difference. After all, one would assume that any selling of such stupendously fashion-forward gear would begin at a normal shop-opening time on the appointed day. Say 9 or 10am. But no, the night before this collection went on sale I googled its Topshop online store start time, but to no avail.
As I lay in bed at 6am being jumped on by small people, I thought I’d just check for news on the store’s website on my iPhone. And lo and behold, would you Adam and Eve it (that’s cockney rhyming slang for ‘believe’, for all you non-Brits out there), not only was Mary Katrantzou’s clothing line on sale online, but the jersey dress I’d also been wanting was already sold out. ALREADY?!
This I could not believe. WHEN DID THIS DAMN SALE START? And WHY DIDN’T ANYONE TELL ME?! I’m guessing (and am happy to be corrected – please feel free), that it started on midnight on said day, and not at a more reasonable time of 9 or 10am! Anyway, I was annoyed, as not only was the jersey dress £100 more affordable, it was also infinitely more wearable (thereby negating the IIOGBUITE issue above, but with equal joy imparted).