Toy Review: Doc Johnson Jeff Stryker Realistic Cock 10 inch Dildo

I think I’m in love with Doc Johnson’s Jeff Stryker Realistic Dildo. Yes, I know it’s an inanimate object that won’t love me back, but what with the perpetual retro cool trend, surely it’s OK to worship a ten inch rubber cock from the 80s.

It isn’t? Well it should be, because Stryker’s cock is not only an American cult classic, it’s also an image of sex perfection: a magnificent, monstrous appendage which would have grown men weeping into their Miller Lites with envy and their bouffant-haired wives weak at the knees – for more than one reason. Lord knows Jeff’s powerful phallus must have brought tears to the eyes of his on-screen co-stars during those heady days, so I genuinely don’t begrudge them that particular porn partner – in fact, my eyes are watering just at the thought of encountering the real deal. Because whether using it anally or vaginally, Doc Johnson’s Jeff Stryker Realistic Dildo is not one for beginners, and is unlikely to be an ideal first toy unless you’re already sure of what suits you – and what suits you is bigger than average.

For me, being used to my husband Roger More’s more than generous proportions I confess I’ve become a bit of a ‘size queen’, so personally there could be no comparison to the legend of the infamous Jeff Stryker, being the first porn star I’d ever heard of as an adolescent. And Stryker’s dildo, moulded from the man himself, is not only satisfyingly proportioned, it actually looks like a real cock and balls. So when Simply Pleasure sent this pleasing ten incher through to Cliterati HQ I could’ve kissed them, as I’d been wanting to give Stryker a go for years.

Releasing the beast from its cage was quite something: Mr More was there as I pulled Jeff out of the box, and consequently his chin hit the floor: “I’m not used to feeling inadequate”, was his reverent comment. And I’m not surprised: this dildo was pretty impressive, particularly in girth! I have long fingers, and yet in the universal gesture of ‘OK’, my thumb and forefinger still could barely close around it at its widest seven inch circumference. Shocking stuff.

Better yet (yes, to me that shock was a good thing), this particular Doc Johnson dildo looks exactly like a real cock. Yes: I know! It’s not purple, bright pink or shiny and glittery. Oh no, this immense appendage looks and feels fantastic, just like a true-life phallus (albeit rather bigger than your average Joe’s), complete with veins, textured skin dimples and balls – gorgeous balls you can jiggle at your heart’s content. And boy, it’s beautiful, a really truly gorgeous specimen of a penis. Magnificent, in fact: hence the aforementioned lurrve thang.

The Stryker Dildo is also extremely weighty – hardly surprising considering its considerable size. It comes with a storage pouch, a signed picture of Jeff back in his heyday (a fabulously kitsch touch), and a sucker on the base, so that you can stick the dildo onto a bath, bedbase, door, mirror, wherever there’s a suitably smooth surface. It’s actually attached to the kitchen table next to me right now, casting a considerable shadow over my laptop. Yes, the dildo might be too heavy to stay prone in a horizontal position for long, but it seems pretty steadfast when placed vertically. Joy!

Needless to say, when Mr More returned from a business trip to find Stryker, as I like to call him – err…I mean ‘it’ – stuck proudly to his work chair wearing his tie, he did wryly observe “So this is it: I really am just a walking wallet to you now.” Well, I thought it was funny…

All I can add is that I’ve since learned that the Stryker dildo is just a warm-up fluffer: I’m now looking forward to graduating to Doc Johnson’s John Holmes Realistic dildo and their Bam Realistic Thirteen Inch dildo, both of which come highly recommended by our friends at Simply Pleasure. So let’s get that wallet out Roger Darling, as we’re going to be needing more lube – and lashings of it.

The Doc Johnson Jeff Stryker Realistic Cock Dildo 10 inch (now ain’t that a mouthful?!) is available from Simply Pleasure for £41.45

The Doc Johnson John Holmes Realistic Cock Dildo 10 inch is available from Simply Pleasure for £48.95

The Bam Realistic Thirteen Inch Cock Dildo is available from Simply Pleasure for £75.45

Liquid Silk Water-based lube is available from Simply Pleasure for £9.95

Visit Simply Pleasure

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