Review: Pasante Bullet Lube and Pasante Extra-Large Condoms

Pasante Bullet LubeAfter a quick count I was surprised to learn that I currently have in my possession thirteen different brands of sexual lubricant, each brand with multiple products: flavoured and coloured lube, paraben-free and organic lube, luxury lube, scented lube, oil, silicone and water-based lube and lube designed to look like spunk. They come in pump-action plastic bottles, sachets, tubes and posh glass dispensers, each with content as different as their packaging and each as varied as the smell or the feel of them between your fingers.

This adds up to thirteen-times a helluva lot of very different lubricants in my collection, and right down by the bottom of my lube list of preferred products are those made by the UK’s leading condom brand. That company might know their condoms, but in my opinion their lubes could be vastly improved – and I’ve tried more than five kinds of their top-selling sticky stuff.

So since Pasante seem to be setting themselves up in direct competition with the UK’s leading condom company (even down to the typeface they’ve settled on for their branding), when I was sent some samples of Pasante’s luxury water-based and silicone Bullet Lube I wasn’t holding out much hope. However, thankfully not only are their gold and silver pump-action dispensing bottles a good deal less tacky than the top manufacturer’s similarly-priced equivalents, but the lubes are too. In fact, I was surprised to find I rather liked them.

As expected the clear water-based Pasante Bullet lubricant is safe with all sex toys and reactivated easily with a drop or two of water, whilst the silicone version is better for heavy-duty play such as anal or sex in the shower, and as such it’s longer-lasting and leaves a seductive shine on the skin wherever applied. The Bullet lubes are also odourless, paraben-free and PH-balanced, and don’t taste too much of their chemical ingredients.

Although I haven’t tried Pasante’s cheaper lubes, which again correspond closely to their industry rival’s products in both price and appearance, these Bullets look so sleek and appealing that you might want to make a feature of them in your bedroom – especially as male partners wouldn’t find their appearance too girlie. Plus, if you prefer an anonymous-looking lube then you can easily slip off the plastic covering to hide the contents of the container. And as for where Pasante Bullet would appear in the personal lube list I mentioned earlier, I’d say definitely in the top half. After all, it’s not called a pump-action dispenser for nothing…

And just a quick postscript to those unusually well-endowed men who may struggle to find suitable condoms: you could do far worse than try Pasante’s Extra Large variety. As one male Cliterati tester noted after a lifetime’s struggle with painfully cauterising too-small ‘Large’ condoms, “So this is what it must be like to be normal!” Praise indeed.

Pasante Clear Water-Based Bullet Lube is available from Lovehoney for £6.99

Pasante Silicone Bullet Lube is available from Lovehoney for £7.99

Pasante Extra Large Condoms are available from Lovehoney for £5.99

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