Luxury mark Lelo is fast becoming the under-performing offspring of the adult industry – and regretfully so. It’s been downhill ever since designing Cliterati’s favourite vibrator, the outstanding Mona 2. After relentless disappointing attempts at effective innovation we’ve seen so many damp squabs seemingly rush-released by the brand (hello all versions of the Ora, Tiani and Ida – among others) that reviewer faith has been rocked beyond repair. So, when the Mona Wave and Ina Wave arrived at Cliterati Towers it would be fair to say they were received with trepidation.
As with all Lelo items, the Wave range comes packaged in exquisite boxes with a ten-year quality guarantee and one year warranty. The toys’ sensual silicone is smooth and seamless of the high standard we’ve come to expect from Lelo, and the colours are deep and luxurious.
The vibrations of the Ina Wave are suitably rumbly and quiet, whilst the rotating finger wags like a disappointing aunt NOISILY. Apparently the internal shaft is supposed ‘to rise and fall like an expert lover’s fingers’, but whilst our own expert lover can go fast or slow, the Ina Wave plods along at a pedestrian speed which is somewhere in-between.
Due to the narrow area between the main shaft and the clitoral stimulator, Cliterati found the Ina Wave’s predecessor the Ina 2 to be unremittingly uncomfortable – rather like being held in a sharp pincer grip – so we didn’t have high hopes for the Wave version of the toy. Fortunately, the clit stim finger on the Ina Wave is far more flexible than its older sister and immediately more comfortable. Unfortunately, it’s still the wrong shape and dimensions for this particular reviewer’s body. Lelo blurb says the main shaft is angled at 30 degrees for perfect G-Spot stimulation, yet when it comes to inflexible plastic objects precious few people are ‘perfectly’ shaped to match.
That said, we can imagine that if the Ina Wave did suit your dimensions it would do so screamingly well. Indeed, if Marmite were an adjective it would fit here quite comfortably, since both Ina toys are definitely of the love-or-hate variety. Perhaps it would be advantageous for Lelo to offer toys in two sizes (as they did with their Wands), as whilst the main shaft of the Ina Wave may be welcomingly unthreatening for some, for others it could be considerably longer and wider to better embrace the unfathomable variabilities of the female form.
This discrepancy between design intentions and user dimensions makes playing with the Ina Wave more complicated than expected: yes, the new controller interface is pleasingly smooth and the memory setting a welcome addition, but we found the handle itself far too short and tricky to angle or manipulate during use. Luckily, the Ina Wave lends itself well to hands-free fun. However, this has repercussions, as when the vaginal muscles are clenched tightly not only are you unable to feel the toy moving inside but in the meantime the external clit stim end flails wildly around your outside: this can be hit or miss depending on the user’s body shape. It’s worth pointing out that if your PC muscles are really strong you may even be able to stop the inner motor from rotating altogether, a controversial feature of the Wave range considering orgasmic spasms are the name of the game.
Ironically, the best settings of the Ina Wave are those in the more generic rabbit mode that alternate between the two digits: just like the Ina 2 the main shaft of the Wave vibrates before the clit stim buzzes and back again, building up a gratifying rhythm. The vibration and rotating finger patterns are well programmed, and it’s great that you can have one without the other, although when used simultaneously the power of both can feel lessened. With the Ina Wave the internal finger can rotate as well as vibrate, sometimes both at the same time – impressive stuff!
Whilst it’s great that Lelo are innovating where others seem reticent to progress, the brand’s new gizmos continue to fall short of satisfying their intended aim, and for such high unit prices this is inexcusable. Admiring as we are of the Lelo brand, we have to admit that this is testing customer loyalty to the limit.
Cliterati desperately wanted to like the Wave range, but unfortunately although the Ina and Mona Waves have all the right components, as a team none these seem to play together particularly effectively: for all their potential they feel like warm-up toys rather than game-changers. Indeed, judging by their recent performances, if Lelo were a football team they’d have been relegated a good few seasons ago, currently seen languishing at the bottom of the lower divisions.
So pull your socks up Lelo, as we’re all on your side and wishing you every success. But let’s not forget that adult toy production is about customer satisfaction – in more ways than one. Presently, with poor products outnumbering the positive, Lelo are in dire danger of alienating even their most loyal fans. We can only hope for a return to form in future.
This piece was originally posted on Cliterati on 22nd November 2014
I felt him before I saw him, and as the running machine behind me sprang to life I knew for sure. His presence was magnetic: the hairs on the back of my neck prickled, my shoulders tensed involuntarily, and I felt his eyes burning imprints into my body. My steps slackened in self-awareness, and as I felt the treadmill drawing me back towards him I attempted a clumsy sprint. Then I found my pace, picked up speed and ran from my desire for him.
As my warm-down came to an end I suddenly felt his absence: he’d gone. I looked around and caught a panther-like flash of him going into the changing room. This was the game we’d been playing for weeks – since I’d started at the gym, in fact. It was a cat-and-mouse game of surreptitious glances and stolen stares. The rules seemed to be that no eye-contact should be made and no words spoken, but still somehow we had made our intentions felt through our training. We’d observe one another reflected multiple times in the weight room mirrors: I’d turn my back on him whilst I did my reps, and see his body angled towards me, his hot gaze on my flexing muscles. In response he’d take to the bench press next-but-one to me and work out by my side, every powerful lift denoting his desire for me, every stretch a silent supplication, every movement sending his warm scent my way.
Today was no different: we’d been skirting around each other for an hour or so, and I’d become half-crazy with lust for him. Even outside the gym my mind had been racing with infinite imaginary scenarios of he and I kissing and coupling, sucking and fucking, and now that I’d seen him again I wanted his cock in my mouth – in fact, I wanted to drink him dry. My body felt hot with yearning, and I felt I couldn’t wait any longer to feel his skin against mine for the first time. But now he’d left I wasn’t sure what to do – was I supposed to follow him? Doubt set in: had I misconstrued the situation? Maybe it was just some idle flirting to make his workout sessions that little bit more interesting. Well, there was only one way to find out: I waited for a few moments wondering whether I was enjoying the anticipation too much to end it with the event itself, and then my need got the better of me. After all, there’s nothing quite like the element of risk to heighten sexual excitement. So, with a cursory look around at my fellow gym-goers I followed my man.
Ever-optimistic, I’d been carrying condoms to my last few visits to the gym in the hope that something might happen, so after a quick stop by my locker for some protection and lube I headed for the showers. I stopped to see if there was anyone else around – there wasn’t. Scoping the cubicles I guessed my man must be at the far end. My heart was hammering in my chest as I approached. This was make or break for me – had I made a mistake, misread the signs? I could see the back of his head and shoulders over the door, and the outline of his body through the frosted glass. As my need got the better of me I took a deep breath and stepped towards him.
There were plenty of straight men out there who’d flirted with the idea of touching me and taking my cock in their mouths, but more than once when it came to the crunch I’d been left disappointed as their courage failed them. I hesitated, torn, unsure whether in this instance my gaydar was correct. Just as I spun on my heels to leave, my magnet turned around. Again, I felt rather than saw him, and turning back, for the first time my eyes met his. With a burnt umber ring around the iris they were much darker brown than I’d imagined, slightly almond-shaped, and framed by thick lashes.
Finally seeing him face-on I realised he was even better looking than I’d initially thought. His ebony skin was pulled tightly across impressive cheekbones, a sensual, strong nose stood proudly in his face and his lips were full and inviting. His expression was open and intelligent. As he smiled in acknowledgement I suddenly felt embarrassed that I’d doubted him and been so close to wimping out. In response I pulled myself up taller, and with a show of confidence I didn’t actually feel, threw back my shoulders and pushed open the cubicle door to meet him.
Ever on the hunt for a decent sex machine, we were lucky enough to get our hands on the Robo Fuk by Love Botz. Suitable for both men and women it comes complete with realistic accessories, namely a Fleshlight-esque sleeve and a bendable dildo that can be shaped to your preferred angle.
At first glance the RF seems promising: easily set-up and with one page of simple instructions, it’s neither too big nor too small and you can store it under your bed. The first issue reveals itself when you plug the machine in: unfortunately the mains lead slips out at the slightest provocation – rather frustrating when the entire product is designed around moving parts.
The thrusting itself works very simply: you choose the angle of penetration/ reception by rotating a wheel to lock and unlock the thruster in place, and a dial in your hand which is wired to the RF helps you change the speed of thrusts at will. The RK will stop hammering away when it hits against something too firm: assumedly as a safety measure. Unfortunately, this has a consequence when it comes to slow penetration – or indeed any penetration starting from outside the body – as it leads the RK to stop suddenly. You can get around this by placing the dildo inside you before turning the machine on and then turning the speed up further.
The masturbation sleeve and the dildo are made to look lifelike, but neither are stated to be body-safe or phthalate-free, so we would advise to use both with a condom. Certainly Cliterati was glad to have employed common sense before testing the RF, since upon checking it a load of liquid spurted out from between the flesh of the dildo and its metal core. Presumably this was lube, but whether it was your average intimate moisturiser or manufacturing lubrication like WD40 we have no idea!
Another cause for concern is the availability of accessories: if you wanted to go for an upmarket silicone strap-on like one from the Doc Johnson Vac-U-Lock range, or indeed a toy from any other brand, you’d find it incompatible with your RF. Even if you wanted to try a different dildo from LoveBotz you’d have difficulty, as the website only sells what you already get in your initial box set. Bafflingly, although they do sell a separate attachment for use in double-penetration, they don’t actually sell the anal toy itself.
Using the RF with the male masturbation sleeve causes all sorts of other issues: namely that whilst erections point upwards, so does the machine – even the Karma Sutra would be stuck on a suitable position!
When the RoboFuk works well it works reeeally well, thrusting tirelessly with unremitting enthusiasm. Hitting all the right spots, it’s an impressive piece of kit, which could easily become a regular feature in the bedroom were it not for its various drawbacks. For, although this is an entry-level machine, at the £320 price of the RoboFuk we would have expected expressly body-safe, phthalate-free silicone sex toys and a greater variety of accessories on offer (or at least parts interchangeable with other brands). A product like this should open the mind and inspire your sex life towards further exploration, rather than narrow your options for the future: if you wanted to use it with a better quality dildo you’d be Fukd.
The Robo Fuk has all the right parts and the potential to hit all the right places, but it’s almost like the manufacturers lost interest in the finished product as a whole: it doesn’t even come with a storage bag. Decent in principle, disappointing in practice, for this sex machine to stay on the scene it would have to be a helluva lot more right on right on. A missed opportunity.
This piece was originally posted on Cliterati on 13th April 2015
Like the rest of its Jimmyjane stablemates #5 is visually arresting, being beautiful enough to be an ‘objet’ (the Jj designers really do have an exceptional eye). Its shape is unusual but aesthetically pleasing: it has two upright wings like a bird poised to take flight, and its – oh look: Form – screams understated innovation. It even charges in a tasteful way, elegantly displayed on a white stand.
Form 5 is also tangibly pleasing, the soft silicone at the top giving way to a naughty nub (‘Pleasure Dome’) between the wings, settled on a solid base which fits easily in your fist.
Billed as “Pleasure Times Three”, Form 5 works for men, women and couples. For women, the theory is that the fluttering wings caress the labia whilst the Dome targets the clitoris, rather like combining a pebble vibrator with a bullet. You can also use the wings for on-point clitoral massage of a different sensation, or on nipples and other sensitive areas – for example the temple and sinuses (no, not a sex thing, I just found it helped ease the pain).
Unfortunately, the Dome suffers from the same affliction as the nub on Lelo’s Ora: users with a shy clitoris will be challenged to find it with this part of the toy – which is a shame as it’s precisely what it’s been designed for. Leloimproved on this issue with the oral sex simulator Ora 2 and an update from Jimmyjane for the Form 5 would be similarly welcome.
Another improvement to Form 5 would be to make the buttons more visible during use, as once in position it’s darn near impossible to feel, let alone see them! After all, Jj successfully improved the tough-touch buttons on the Form 6 (although the loudness remains a problem), happy proof they do listen to their consumers.
Whilst Form 5 is clearly designed with women mostly in mind, with a lot of (water-based) lube the Form 5 also works well for men. Take for example my husband Roger More, the reluctant recipient of Cliterati’s sex toys for men. An unusually well-endowed chap, his reluctance stems from the eternal disappointment of never finding anything naughty which fits his length and/ or girth. However, running his shaft up and down between the very forgiving and extremely flexible wings – and against the Dome – of the Form 5 elicited a surprised smile.
For me at least there’s a discrepancy between cost versus efficacy with Jimmyjane toys: it’s admirable that they push the boundaries of traditional vibrator design, but a shame that it can result in style over substance (Form 3and Hello Touch, here’s looking at you, Kids). Thankfully Form 5 joins its sister Form 4 as my preferred products from that particular range. If only for my husband Mr More…
This piece was originally posted on Cliterati on 17th September 2015
There have been a number of innovations in the erotic industry since the simple cord or screw-based battery vibrator of a few decades ago, yet these original designs are still selling well – albeit with a few all-essential tweaks.
Take for example Doc Johnson’s eight inch Vibrating Realistic Cock, modeled on an actual erect penis. Available in two tones, Black or Cream, despite its outmoded electronics it updates this classic conception, thrusting us into the present day thanks to its lifelike look and feel. The shaft has detailed veins and a carefully crafted frenulum and glans (not a phrase one expects to hear every day!). It also has a pair of convincing balls at the bottom – albeit balls with a flat base – for that all-important sack-slap against the body.
In practice the Realistic 8” may have a hefty weight to it, but this above-average appendage won’t make your wrist ache like his big brothers Bam, John Holmes or Jeff Stryker (reviewed here), and it gives more of a stretched and full yet comfortable feel. The integrated battery-powered vibrator may be risible in its old-fashioned form (‘multi-speed’ seems somewhat of an overstatement compared to its contemporaries on the market), but the Realistic 8” works surprisingly well when coupled with such a generously proportioned cock.
There’s also a suction cup at the base with which to stick your new best friend to suitable surfaces such as French windows, bathroom tiles and wooden bedsteads or floors. Indeed, when this sucker gets a good purchase on a surface it’s surprisingly hard to dislodge. In terms of versatility, for couples of any gender combination the suction cup can be used with an O-ring harness as a strap-on, or alone in roleplaying a threesome without the associated politics.
This item comes UR3 version (pictured) – short for Ultra Realistic 3.0. That is to say it’s dual-density: softer to the touch than the usual range but just as firm inside. This ensures it warms easily to your body temperature and feels just as realistic as it looks. In addition, the smell isn’t nearly as strong as some of their other dongs such as the Jeff Stryker.
But still, there is something about Realistic 8” that’s irresistible: Doc Johnson understand what they excel at and they play to those strengths accordingly, with winning user reviews on every occasion. This is a textbook case of ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’. That said, it’s probably is time to update the vibrator…
This piece was originally posted on Cliterati on 19th September 2015
There’s something about Perfect Fit’s Medium Tunnel Plug in Clear, Red or Black that’s instantly appealing. It’s like a ‘stress ball’: malleable and robust it springs straight back to shape no matter what abuse it receives. Which is handy, as this butt plug is dedicated to the darkest of pleasures, taking anal sex to a whole new level…
Indeed, designed with extreme naughtiness in mind, as it says on the tin the USP of this product is its integrated tunnel, which with a little imagination can lead to all different kinds of subversive scenarios. Depending on the size of the Plug (Medium, Large or Extra Large), you can insert fingers, lube, a vibrator or whatever takes your fancy into the hole. From douching or erotica enemas, watersports to humiliation play there isn’t much you couldn’t do with this plug: since it doesn’t trap air you could even wear it all day at the office. Naughty!
Perfect Fit’s Medium Tunnel Plug in Clear does unfortunately have its drawbacks. The clearness of the PF blend (silicone and PVC combined) designed to make the anal passage visible during use doesn’t quite work: to satisfy an aspiring proctologist you’d need a glass version.
Likewise, it would be great to have a removable plug inside the tunnel to make it firmer and easier to insert, as there’s a tendency for the plug to collapse because it’s so flexible – an issue with the larger sizes especially. On the one hand this pliability is an essential part of introducing it to the anus (the 6.35” girth of the Medium is not for beginners, and in this shape it doesn’t come in Small) yet on the other hand it actually makes it more difficult to pop in – if not darn near impossible at times. A finger placed in the tunnel may help maintain the firmness, or a vibrator if you have one of the larger sizes.
The important thing with Perfect Fit’s Tunnel Plugs is to go slow, and if at first you don’t succeed, give it a break and then once you’re sufficiently relaxed try, try, try again, ensuring you’re still having fun doing so. Remember too, that this range is not suitable for use with latex condoms, and that anal lube of the water-based variety is of the essence. Happily, once you’ve got these elements sussed you can let your imagination run riot…
This piece was originally posted on Cliterati on 21st September 2015
From bespoke sex furniture to anal exercisers, in an office brimming with adult items it’s rare that a vibrator catches the eye of Cliterati staff. But then Maia’s Zoe Twistty is no ordinary vibe: its double-ended design means double the fun!
So, how does it work? Well, the narrower tip of the Zoe is slightly curved and tapered for focused use, with gentle undulating waves molded into its silicone underside. Whether inserted to apply pressure to the G-spot or used with lashings of lube on the clitoris or labia, it’s sure to hit its target. These vibrations are at somewhat of a higher frequency than those emanating from the rumbling, ribbed egg-shaped end.
Indeed, for us the deep bass note of the egg was more effective – impressive, in fact, for a non mains-powered wand – and strong enough for a decent shoulder massage with a squirt of water-based lube. If you liked a challenge you could also insert this bulbous end to enjoy that fuller feeling – perhaps after a warm-up from its slimmer opposite side. If you don’t mind your hand shaking it’s also possible to vibrate both ends simultaneously, allowing you to experiment at will.
Whichever end you choose to use, the rechargeable nature of the Zoe means you need never worry about the batteries running out. Indeed, thanks to the USB charger, helpfully you can even hook it up to your laptop to charge – something you might find useful whilst perusing Maia’s website of colourful Fun Factory-esque delights for your next toy (so many beautiful products, so little time!).
Apart from the eyesore of the deliberate misspelling, if we had any criticism of the Zoe Twistty (ouch!) it would be that the silver inserts of the toy lead to unhygienic edges: in an ideal world it would have the seamless silicone of the Jimmyjane Form collection, for example. However, this issue proves less of a problem once you realise the Twistty is waterproof so you can give it a thorough scrub.
Made with a gorgeous soft silicone in an inoffensive purple shade (no pastels! No pink!) the Zoe Twistty even comes with slinky storage bag. Perfect for solo and partner play of any gender or sexuality, it’s two sex toys in one – and at a fair price too. What’s not to like?