Review: Sharon Sloane Latex Mini Dress and Latex Leggings, Black Lace brand PVC Open Cup Corset, Pjur Latex ShinerPosted: September 15, 2013
Being a cage-dancer at The Snake Pit venue in the Glastonbury Festival’s infamous Shangri-La area brings its own set of challenges – not least what to wear. Because when you’re performing in front of an audience of thousands over several nights, and the idea is to entertain as well as titillate, you can’t go at it half-cocked, especially when the look you’re aiming for is the Tarantino screenplay/ Rodriguez film From Dusk Till Dawn – albeit more upmarket.
This year my first stop for outfit ideas was Lovehoney, who offer an affordable range of latex and, much more importantly, a fantastic returns service, which means that you can swap sizes, items and if necessary get refunds extremely easily. When shopping online and/or for fetish wear, this kind of customer care is essential, as not only can latex quality and size guides differ between brands, but an off-the-peg design may simply not suit your body shape.
Luckily, when I typed Latex into Lovehoney I had plenty of clothing items to choose from (and plenty of latex condoms besides!). My first search was for a latex catsuit which Lovehoney doesn’t stock, although they do have a couple of fabric catsuits. This caused a bit of a rethink, and considering the practicalities of catsuits at Glastonbury (ease of getting dressed, undressed and how to pee when visiting extremely unhygienic portaloos), I hit on the idea of combining latex leggings and a latex top: infinitely more practical, right?
First up I went for the Sharon Sloane Latex Mini Dress. Originally I ordered a Large, as I’m 5’9” and can measure between a UK 12-14, but since the Sharon Sloane Latex Mini Dress is cut to curve wider at the hips, it proved baggy in the bum. Despite having D-cups to begin with, and adding into the mix my much-loved two-sizes bigger M&S bra(got to love a temporary £18 boob job!), this slackness was also evident where the non-adjustable straps ran from the underarms to the shoulders. Not a good look.
However, after exchanging the Sharon Sloane Latex Mini Dress for a Medium size, I was happier with the tighter fit – and latex is supposed to be tight, after all. Nevertheless, I wouldn’t call this item a dress, more a long vest, as length-wise it very much erred on the incomplete (bringing back fond memories of my schooldays frequently hearing “You’re not going out dressed like that” and “That’s not a skirt, it’s a belt!”). Luckily I was expecting this ‘Mini’ issue from reading the Sharon Sloane Latex Mini Dress Lovehoney reviews, and while it might be fine flashing one’s bum in a fetish club, constantly pulling your dress down throughout the evening does not make for a confident look on stage.
I’d also read that the Sharon Sloane Latex Mini Dress rolled up during use (thank you again, Lovehoney reviewers!), so to combat these combined shortcomings I ordered the Sharon Sloane Latex Leggings (once more exchanging a Large for a Medium so that the leggings were tighter – especially at the waist). I also bought a Black Level PVC Open Cup Corset to keep the top of the dress in place, and hide the bottom of the dress where it rolled up. Which happily, it did – in style.
I found the Sharon Sloane Latex Leggings slightly too wide at the ankle, which I’m assuming is to make them easier to get on, but I think I was probably the only person who noticed this. They are also quite loose at the waist, but then my waist is significantly smaller than my bum, so I often have problems in this department. In fact, I wouldn’t call either the Sharon Sloane Latex Mini Dress or their Latex Leggings entirely skin-tight, but then that’s what you get for buying mass-produced latex: three sizes will never fit all, which is why real enthusiasts visit specialist latex designers such as Pandora Deluxe, Lady Allura’s Latex or the bigger and better-known Westward Bound.
The Black Level PVC Open Cup Corset on the other hand, was an absolute gem of a find (and the flimsy G-string an extra little bit of fun). Even if you’re a corset purist or fashion snob (which I am, thanks to experiencing the like of Cliterati Style Editor Chrissie Nicholson-Wilde’s exquisite Curve Couture designs), there is a place in everyone’s wardrobe for a wipe-clean, zip-fronted, back-tied, cheap and cheerful shiny black underbust corset. Indeed, it was the unsung hero of my Glastonbury costumes: I can’t recommend it highly enough. I would suggest you err towards choosing the lower end of your size however, for that extra-satisfying waist minimising effect.
In conclusion, if you’re looking for a latex mini dress, leggings or a more practical alternative to a latex catsuit, this is a great entry-level pack for people on a limited budget or just starting out with latex. My advice would be to keep exchanging until you get the right size for you, and to buy some talc or Pjur Easy Latex Dressing Aid to help slip the clothes on, and also some latex shine spray to polish once you’re happily ensconced in your attire.
I tried the Pjur Cult Latex Shiner Ultra Shine Spray and was disappointed with the results with regards to the expense (I kept having to re-apply throughout the night), but there is a far cheaper shiner which offers (almost) comparable results. Personally I found the Pjur Cult Easy Latex Dressing Aid to be a more useful all-rounder, covering shine, care, conditioning and application for less money than the Pjur shiner spray.
You can see the results above and below (with added hairpiece from my favourite alternative wig specialist Geisha Wigs, wings and mask from a local fancy dress shop, and somewhat surprisingly, patent platform heels from Nextof all places – and very comfortable they were too!).
Holy Crapamoly, there is absolutely nothing I don’t like about this photo: the sexy latex Pop Art dress, the make-up, the model, the hair… Because as always the inimitable Hélène Atsüko looks beyond stunning, making the rest of us wish our locks were also temporarily lost to be replaced with a wet-shaved head, pink eye make-up, chiselled cheeks and enviable curves. Hotness beyond cool. Pass me the Bic, I’m baggsying the bathroom…
Since I’ve never been very good at wearing black, and in the name of eclectic fashion, here I’ve teamed my French Maid Dress by J.W. Anderson for Topshop with bright pink floral tights from Primark. They make my legs look like economy sausages, but hey, they go with my pink hair (which I’ve styled into a fake mohican to counter the austere tailored dress and the smart cut of the coat).
Speaking of which, my snakeskin print trenchcoat is by Helene Berman by way of House Of Fraser, and my heels are Block Pumps by United Nude because my addiction for this shoe brand knows no bounds – other than never buying a pair at full price as they have great sales (don’t worry, you can thank me later).
So go on, clash that fash: out with the old and in with the bold!
Today being a typical cold and grey British summer day, I decided to dress the blues away, arming myself with an array of colours so bright, they would require all passers-by to wear sunglasses – despite the threatening rain.
So here I am in my trusted orange Dorothy Perkins skater dress, turquoise twisty Fenchurch belt, posh pink Whistles ‘Wren’ jacket, and orange-multicoloured Irregular Choice heels.
Yes, I’ve concluded that there’s nothing quite like dressing to lift your mood. Whether others would agree with my assault on their eyes is another matter entirely!
Since for various reasons my hair has now changed from a peroxided white-blonde mid-length bob, to a short Manic Panic Candy Cotton Pink bob (more of that later), I’ve been looking for ways to accessorise with my new hair. After all, the last time I had pink hair was in my twenties, and those years are now long gone!
So here I am with my patent nude Kurt Geiger heels, teal Dorothy Perkins dress, yellow and white-cream Karen Millen coat, and bright pink patent H&M for Versace Belt. Not forgetting the aviator shades and Rimmel’s ‘Pin-up’ pink lip-gloss, of course!
I have a real thing for acid brights, and this fluoro yellow top-dress is no exception. It may be a couple of years old, and have cost about £4 from the Primark sale rail (yes, Primark has a sale rail!), but it still hits this season’s neon and sportlux looks, and was such a steal back in 2009/10 that I had to get it in cobalt blue too.
I’m not sure whether this loose and loud yellow garment is a long tunic top or a short dress, but it was extremely accommodating during my second pregnancy, and now continues to look great with bare legs during the summer, and tights or leggings in the Spring.
Here I am wearing it with snakeskin leggings (python? Boa constrictor? Adder?!) which I bought on EBay for a fancy-dress party, and have worn ever since…oops! It just goes to show that money probably can buy good taste!
The hot pink coat is from Karen Millen, and the patent heels are from Hobbes (and are a far more coral pink than they appear in this picture).
All in all, a versatile outfit for a sunny Spring day!
This pair of Kurt Geiger Snakeskin Salem boots (see previous Geiger Counter post for more details) are fantastically appropriate footwear for unpredictable Spring weather (if I’m allowed to call it Spring yet?!).
The perfect foil to any unexpected shower, these fakey snakey bikers look funky and fresh with any outfit – and give my smart pink 3/4 length Karen Millen coat a suitably subversive and casual twist.
I live on the South coast where it’s invariably brisk and brrreeezy, so along with the rest of Brighton I’m still wearing my winter woollies (which maybe answers my Spring question above!).
Today’s long, silver-grey glitterball-style sequinned jumper is by Fenn Wright Manson. Its delicate colour and scalloped edges remind me of oysters – and lovely lady parts, which is perhaps why subconsciously I find it so appealing! It’s lovely and long and wonderfully warm, and it belts up beautifully. Plus, when the light shines on the sequins I become my own little glitter ball – which the kids just love! I’m not one for muted colours, but this textured top magically lifts my spirits every time I put it on.
Unable to avoid my favoured colour-clash fashion entirely, however, I’m wearing these KG snakeskin boots, FWM silver-sequinned jumper and KM pink coat combination with an flippy orange dress from Dorothy Perkins.
Thus attired, I am ready and prepared for any meteorological eventuality, and fashion-forward whatever the weather!