Event Review: Brighton Club Spank presents The Grand Age Of Corsets

Photo by bn1boi

Photo by bn1boi

Splashing through muddy puddles in my heels I wasn’t convinced that a rugby club was the best place to hold – as Club Spank calls it – a ‘fluffy fetish’ event. Even though it was just on the outskirts of Brighton, initially the (almost) countryside venue seemed an inconvenience, since missing the minibus organised by the club meant one of us reluctantly had to become the designated driver. We knew that there had been random issues with previous venues for Spank (one changed ownership, another closed down altogether) but it’s a sad day when even the ‘b-right-on’ city of Brighton isn’t actively embracing the BDSM banknote. Tsk…

Luckily, the rugby club had already pretty much seen it all courtesy of its own members. Whilst the bar staff looked mildly bemused at the scene unfolding before them, one let slip that the mezzanine above their heads had been known to boast drunken rugby fans and players partying in various states of undress, and that the Spank faithful were wearing considerably more clothes than their usual clientele!

Indeed, the evening’s theme ‘The Age of Corsets’ was interpreted fairly liberally by all and sundry: there were the ubiquitous topless beauties (men included) wearing waspies, some in face-to-floor festish gear, others in fairly straight or festival fashion and lots of gorgeous tattoos on show generating natural conversational ice-breakers.

Because if there’s one consistent comment we hear about the better-known fetish nights in this part of the country – especially those in the capital – it’s that they can have an unwelcome, exclusive air. Maybe it’s the London about them, maybe it’s the competitive couture latex. Thankfully the Spank crew could not be said to be the same: clubbers were warm, chatty, dressed-up but not ‘up-themselves’: altogether a great bunch of party-goers. Where else would strangers introduce themselves to you before presenting you to mutual strangers, all genuinely content to spend mingling? From conversations about fetishes and personal experiences through martial arts and Physics(!) to just general banter, the Spank crowd were an inclusive lot and this really added to the friendly feel of the night.

Downstairs in the dungeon (AKA the rugby club changing rooms) it was a similar scene, only with fetish furniture and public spankings. Being November the dungeons could have done with a heater or two, and the smaller of the rooms could have done with some suitable low-lighting rather than super-sterile brightness. Various comments were also made about the lack of available spanking equipment, as people were invited to bring their own paddles, canes and feathers (no doubt for hygiene reasons) but had clearly forgotten in the excitement of getting ready for the party. In any case, we’ll forgive these omissions in light of the convivial atmosphere amongst the observers conversing on the changing room benches. After all, there’s nothing like a good public punishment to bring people together (although the term ‘fluffy fetish’ is of course happily open to interpretation)…

No doubt the reasonably priced drinks at the out-of-town venue didn’t harm the social lubrication, and with loud music and cheeky couples there is great potential in using somewhere rural come Spring and Summer (the smoking balcony in particular will benefit from the lighter nights and brighter views across the Downs). And yes, there were a few rough edges already being addressed after the inaugural night of this unlikely venue, but generally Spank’s organisers did an impressive job planning a fun event to which Cliterati will return again: after all, one can never have enough friends. Or fun!

Visit Spank! Brighton’s official website

Follow Spank! Brighton on Facebook

Party with Club Spank during Brighton Fetish Weekend, 10th-12th April 2015


Review: Pleaser Seduce Open Back Thigh-high Boots

ImageJust in case you’re under the misapprehension that Richard Gere and Julia Roberts were the stars of Pretty Woman, let me put you straight: the true scene stealers of the film were Vivian’s patent boots – and not only for their condom-storing properties (although let it be known that we here at Cliterati are great fans of being a “safety girl”).

Having lusted after a pair of thigh-high heels since – oooh, let’s take an educated guess…1990 – it was with utter joy that I discovered that Lovehoney sells three different styles of said footwear. They even sell Vivian’s patent lovelies, which we eschewed due to not possessing legs like Roberts’ (which she mentions in Pretty Woman measure “44 inches from hip to toe”). Yup, I may be 5’9″, but even I thought that they’d look welly-like on me.
The Pleaser boots however, looked easier to carry off – primarily because they have laces running all the way up the back which means that you can tighten or loosen them to suit your shape. I figured they’d look less obviously bulky than the Pleasers with the laces up the side, although those looked equally appealing.
Having read the ever-excellent peer reviews on the Lovehoney site, I noticed someone mentioned that if your feet bordered on the wide then it might be worth buying a size up in the Pleaser range. Salient advice, I thought, and then promptly ignored it: “Big mistake. Big. Huge.”
Or rather it would have been, were it not for Lovehoney’s excellent returns policy. As predicted the shoes came up a little too narrow – not much, but just enough to inflict a creeping discomfort over the course of an evening on the dancefloor.
So I sent them back and received a replacement pair of Pleasers within days: these were slightly too long, but more comfortable width-wise. They were also roomy enough to stash my camera and cash for the evening without ruining the silhouette.
If you’ve always wanted a pair of thigh high boots for the bedroom and beyond, then Cliterati can assure you that this particular pair are real Pleasers – plus you can carry your cigs and condoms with ease. Heels are the new handbags don’tcha know, and these babies are gonna treat you so nice you ain’t ever gonna want to let them go. Well, unless you need to trade them for the next size up, that is…
Pleaser Seduce Open Back Thigh-high Boots are available from Lovehoney for £64.99
Pleaser Delight Thigh-high Patent Boots are available from Lovehoney for £64.99
Pleaser Seduce Thigh-high Lace-up Boots are available from Lovehoney for £64.99

Toy Review: Top Three Kinky Gifts

Labia Spreader with Stockings imageLabia Spreader With Stockings

If there’s one post that’s been a surprise hit on this blog it’s the review I wrote for this very special hosiery, where stockings are held up by clipping them to the labia rather than a suspender belt. Economical and exceedingly slutty they leave nothing to the imagination – in a good way. Replace the stockings with a luxury pair of your own for an inexpensive upgrade.

This labia spreader with stockings set is available from UberKinky for £15.99

Fetish Fantasy Series Shock Therapy Butterfly Stim

Fetish Fantasy Series Shock Therapy Butterfly Stim

This cute kit is the perfect non-intimidating introduction to electro-stimulation. The control unit features six patterns of electro-massage in ten levels of intensity and comes with three re-usable butterfly-shaped pads which should leave you happily furnished for quite some time. The pads stick fine as as long as you’re lying down (they can fall off if you’re standing up) and can be used to great effect externally on the mons pubis/ clitoral area, breasts/ nipples and wherever else you fancy.

If you’ve ever tried a Slendertone product (which tones your body using a similar system) or a medical TENS machine for pain relief then you’ll recognise the feeling of your muscles being manipulated to contract and release. Whether you’ll enjoy the sensation or not is something else entirely, but if you’re looking to explore electro-stimulation, since the lower levels of intensity don’t remotely hurt the Shock Therapy Butterfly Stim is a great place to start. And who knows, you may even discover you enjoy the pleasure-pain aspect of the highest settings! I suffer from chronic pain – especially in my arms – and so for me ironically any tingling I get from the Butterfly pads is in fact a welcome variation from the norm.

Unfortunately there aren’t any instructions included in the package so be sure to go slow when testing it out for the first time. Pair with Mystim The Goldfather Electrogel for improved sensation.

Fetish Fantasy Series Shock Therapy Butterfly Stim is available from UberKinky for £29.99

Mystim The Goldfather Electrogel is available from UberKinky for £12.99

Anal HookAnal Hook

In the world of BDSM the anal hook is used mainly for posture training as it gives the sub an fantastically exaggerated torso whereby the chest is lifted and there’s a backward arch to the upper spine. This is is a fantastic visual stimulant for the Dominant and a very sexy way to be bound and trussed for the submissive.

One for the die-hard kinksters amongst you, Uber-Kinky’s anal hook is a far more impressive item than it looks in the photos: length-wise if I hold the hooped end to the tips of my fingers and bend my elbow to follow the shape up my arm, the ball comes up to my armpit (I’m 5’9” so not exactly petite). This is where it pays to read the additional information on a product!

Weight-wise it’s also pretty hefty, and since it comes without instructions I’d suggest exercising extreme caution during use until you familiarise yourselves better with your submissive’s tolerance threshold, as if you’re aiming to use it for postural purposes the success of this hook also very much depends on the wearer’s body shape and flexibility – you might be surprised to learn that some issues that beginners encounter have nothing to do with the anal aspect of the hook.

For example, tying the looped end to a D-ring on a collar might prove too much of a dangerous stretch for many people and put unnecessary strain on the neck causing choking (and not in a sexy way). In which case an alternative way to enjoy an anal hook is to tie your long hair to the metal loop or use a longer length of bondage rope to close the gap. You can also use it with a body harness with multiple D-rings running down the spine so that you can choose the perfect height for you, or attach it to a gag harness with reins.

To avoid neck strain altogether you could keep the hook fastened in place and your posture straight by tying a length of bondage rope through the metal loop and then feeding each end of the rope under the submissive’s arms, across the chest, over the opposite shoulder and then back down to the ring so that it looks rather like the sub’s wearing a bondage rucksack (one for the Ramblers amongst you). And then the rope can be pulled as tightly as your Master or Mistress requires with no pressure on your neck or throat – you could even tie the hook to a body harness and wear it under your clothes when you pop to the shops. Of course the other happily sadistic side of an anal hook is that the more the wearer resists it the more they’re forced to feel its presence. Naughty!

You may also want to invest in a butt plug to work up to inserting the ball, as not only is it heavy in itself but combined with the weight of the hook it may be a little more challenging to wear than you might expect. But then of course that’s half the fun… Not for the faint-hearted, but an extremely rewarding product if you have nerves of (stainless) steel.

This Anal Hook is available from UberKinky for £29.99

Combine with Japanese Silk Rope for some serious fetish fun: £14.99 from UberKinky

Miss Miranda Earns Her Fetish Stripes

Miss Miranda Zebra wears Lady Lucie Latex with Fabulously Fetish Boot at Rubber Cult. Headgear by Michelle Mildenhall Hats. Shot by Photobooth OutOfOrder.

To mark today (Saturday) at London Fetish Weekend, I’ve chosen this amazing image from one of my favourite latex designers Lady Lucie Latex. Not only has the photo got the most fantastic setting, but it stars the gorgeous Miss Miranda wearing Lady Lucy’s Marching Band jacket,  (click here to see Miranda in their Military Jacket). I even quite like the quirkiness of the wonky masking tape (er, I mean stripe) in the foreground – I find it kind of endearing…

Anyway, thanks to this picture I now know that alongside the entire Lady Lucie Latex line I want a zebra in my living room, the exact pair of Fabulously Fetish heels featured, and…Miss Miranda (you can keep the masking tape)!

Style: London Fetish Weekend’s Fetish Fashion & Deviant Dance Event

As out and proud fans of all things fabulous and latex, sexy and steampunk, gothic, punk, and let’s face it, pretty much every alternative fashion featuring rubber, exquisite corsetry and super-sharp tailoring (or all of the above), for us London Fetish Weekend has become something of an annual highlight – where else can you find a catwalk event showcasing best of alternative clothing?

Tonight’s opening LFW Fetish Fashion & Deviant Dance evening is not only a club night with a difference, but also a fetish fashion show playing host to four established designers and three additional new designers, all competing for the New Designer Of The Year Award. And what a line-up it is…

First up on the runway is Jed Phoenix, who actually – gasp! – design wearable alternative gear for men as well as women, erring on the side of industrial, gothic and bondage wear:

Second we have House Of Harlot, a well-known Irregular Voice favourite, who are great all-rounders who somehow remain impressive boundary-pushers, meaning that well, frankly, we want their latex-clad babies:

Next comes the first of the new designers, Dayne Henderson, whose ‘near-future’ cyberpunk get-ups are eye-boggling to the extreme. These outfits may well be avant-garde, but Henderson’s approach makes them fascinating art pieces as well:

The second new designer is Eustratia, whose look is just…stunning. Beautiful latexwear, often simple at first glance yet complex in content, these are easily dressed up with the addition of Eustratia’s own latex accessories line. Breathtaking:

Lady Allura’s Latex is the final new designer to be showcased, and her output is cute, cool and enviably colourful, giving her a special place in Irregular Voice’s heart. We love:

And so back we go to the more established designer and the penultimate of the evening, Moretta Designs, AKA Lady Allegra’s weird and wonderful world of 18th Century inspired costume, whose elegant corsets and full silk, satin lace and taffeta dresses are beyond gorgeous, Milady. Enchanting:

The last designer of the evening is Slaughter House Couture, which offers bespoke latex designs for men and women of every size and shape – as the plus-size model on their homepage testifies. Just divine:

Finally, before the Fetish Fashion & Deviant Dance night descends into club chaos, the winner of the London Fetish Weekend New Designer of The Year Award will be announced – and we can’t wait to hear who the expert judging panel rate most highly. Who would you put your money on?

This post first appeared on Cliterati

Bang Bang (She Shot Me Down)

Dress by Pandora Deluxe Latex. Image: Julian Kilsby. Model: Hélène Atsüko
Make-Up Artist: Naomi Mckeever
Location: Birmingham

Holy Crapamoly, there is absolutely nothing I don’t like about this photo: the sexy latex Pop Art dress, the make-up, the model, the hair… Because as always the inimitable Hélène Atsüko looks beyond stunning, making the rest of us wish our locks were also temporarily lost to be replaced with a wet-shaved head, pink eye make-up, chiselled cheeks and enviable curves. Hotness beyond cool. Pass me the Bic, I’m baggsying the bathroom…