Primark Pink

I don’t think this has ever happened before, but today I found myself dressed head to toe in one brand. Yes, I suddenly realised that my jumper, skirt, tights AND shoes were all bought at different times from (wait for it) Primark. Ooh the glamour!

I’m not sure whether to be proud that my entire outfit – including footwear – probably cost less than £50, or ashamed that I’ve been to Primark that many times. Either way, I quite like the look. As does my bank balance…

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Bang Bang (She Shot Me Down)

Dress by Pandora Deluxe Latex. Image: Julian Kilsby. Model: Hélène Atsüko
Make-Up Artist: Naomi Mckeever
Location: Birmingham

Holy Crapamoly, there is absolutely nothing I don’t like about this photo: the sexy latex Pop Art dress, the make-up, the model, the hair… Because as always the inimitable Hélène Atsüko looks beyond stunning, making the rest of us wish our locks were also temporarily lost to be replaced with a wet-shaved head, pink eye make-up, chiselled cheeks and enviable curves. Hotness beyond cool. Pass me the Bic, I’m baggsying the bathroom…


Optical Assault

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Today being a typical cold and grey British summer day, I decided to dress the blues away, arming myself with an array of colours so bright, they would require all passers-by to wear sunglasses – despite the threatening rain.

So here I am in my trusted orange Dorothy Perkins skater dress, turquoise twisty Fenchurch belt, posh pink Whistles ‘Wren’ jacket, and orange-multicoloured Irregular Choice heels.

Yes, I’ve concluded that there’s nothing quite like dressing to lift your mood. Whether others would agree with my assault on their eyes is another matter entirely!


10-Function Silicone Love Rider Rippler by California Exotic Novelties

In a nutshell:

Strap-on fun, featuring a vibrating hot pink dildo/ dong attached to a secure harness

Strap-on Fun!

Pros:

The harness is comfortable and holds itself nicely in place, and the good-sized dildo is removable, rendering this a highly versatile toy if you’re not in the mood for a strap-on. The ten functions (vibration, pulsation and escalation) are both titillating and powerful, making it a good stand-alone vibrator in itself.

Then there’s the “state-of-the-art memory chip” which remembers the function setting of the dildo you were using last time you played with it (amazingly the first time I’ve seen this facility), and the weight of the dildo itself: satisfyingly firm but pliant, with the welcome heaviness of quality silicone.

Cons:

Girl-on-girl aside, the dildo is too big to be used on an anally inexperienced man, and the harness is too small to be worn by a big bloke. However, if he were slim, he could wear the harness, placing the dildo above his cock to DP his female partner instead – ingenious!

The dildo comes with a sucker on the base, supposedly for hands-free fun, but unfortunately the sucker comes unstuck at the slightest pressure – which is a shame, as otherwise this could have led to the Love Rider receiving full marks.

Rating out of 5 (5 being the best):

4

 

Visit California Exotic Novelties and explore the Love Rider Rippler

An original version of this text appeared on the SexToyTesters website


Belt Up Pin-up!

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Since for various reasons my hair has now changed from a peroxided white-blonde mid-length bob, to a short Manic Panic Candy Cotton Pink bob (more of that later), I’ve been looking for ways to accessorise with my new hair. After all, the last time I had pink hair was in my twenties, and those years are now long gone!

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So here I am with my patent nude Kurt Geiger heels, teal Dorothy Perkins dress, yellow and white-cream Karen Millen coat, and bright pink patent H&M for Versace Belt. Not forgetting the aviator shades and Rimmel’s ‘Pin-up’ pink lip-gloss, of course!


Snakes And Adders

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I have a real thing for acid brights, and this fluoro yellow top-dress is no exception. It may be a couple of years old, and have cost about £4 from the Primark sale rail (yes, Primark has a sale rail!), but it still hits this season’s neon and sportlux looks, and was such a steal back in 2009/10 that I had to get it in cobalt blue too.
I’m not sure whether this loose and loud yellow garment is a long tunic top or a short dress, but it was extremely accommodating during my second pregnancy, and now continues to look great with bare legs during the summer, and tights or leggings in the Spring.
Here I am wearing it with snakeskin leggings (python? Boa constrictor? Adder?!) which I bought on EBay for a fancy-dress party, and have worn ever since…oops! It just goes to show that money probably can buy good taste!
The hot pink coat is from Karen Millen, and the patent heels are from Hobbes (and are a far more coral pink than they appear in this picture).
All in all, a versatile outfit for a sunny Spring day!


Walking Glitterball Tall

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This pair of Kurt Geiger Snakeskin Salem boots (see previous Geiger Counter post for more details) are fantastically appropriate footwear for unpredictable Spring weather (if I’m allowed to call it Spring yet?!).
The perfect foil to any unexpected shower, these fakey snakey bikers look funky and fresh with any outfit – and give my smart pink 3/4 length Karen Millen coat a suitably subversive and casual twist.
I live on the South coast where it’s invariably brisk and brrreeezy, so along with the rest of Brighton I’m still wearing my winter woollies (which maybe answers my Spring question above!).
Today’s long, silver-grey glitterball-style sequinned jumper is by Fenn Wright Manson. Its delicate colour and scalloped edges remind me of oysters – and lovely lady parts, which is perhaps why subconsciously I find it so appealing! It’s lovely and long and wonderfully warm, and it belts up beautifully. Plus, when the light shines on the sequins I become my own little glitter ball – which the kids just love! I’m not one for muted colours, but this textured top magically lifts my spirits every time I put it on.
Unable to avoid my favoured colour-clash fashion entirely, however, I’m wearing these KG snakeskin boots, FWM silver-sequinned jumper and KM pink coat combination with an flippy orange dress from Dorothy Perkins.
Thus attired, I am ready and prepared for any meteorological eventuality, and fashion-forward whatever the weather!